Sacrament
January 29, 199811:50 PM
My precious Elisabeth,
Let me start by telling you how euphoric I am to have finally met you again yesterday. It has been ages since I last saw you. And although you have clearly grown more beautiful, I think you were exactly--or almost exactly--as I have remembered. For the past eleven years, your face was the sole image that I have kept playing over and over in my head in full detail, color, vividness and contrast. Your eyes have sparkled as I have imagined them to sparkle when you said your hello. You beamed the exact same smile I have grown fond of ever since I laid eyes on you. You were exactly the same Elisabeth that I have wished for. The Elisabeth that I have loved but never had the opportunity of keeping.
I am rather overwhelmed at how time flew. It felt like it was just yesterday when you told me, rather coyly, that you wanted to serve the Lord...that your calling was to be His servant. It broke my heart when, when I attended your--how do you call it? Veiling ceremony?--you were finally and officially betrothed to the Church. Did you know that while everybody else present in the ceremony was rejoicing and applauding, I was secretly weeping? I knew then that you would never be mine. Ever.
It is really an honor for me that you accepted my invitation to come to yesterday's affair. You do not know how exhilarated I was since that day you confirmed you were going to come. I literally counted the minutes that passed. You can not imagine how fast my heart started beating when the guests said that Sister Elisabeth is already by the patio, looking for me. Your habit--your clothes, I mean--never lessened your ethereal beauty; it has, in fact, made you even lovelier.
I do not know why I still feel this way for you, Liz. I can never have you. You are already His. We are not meant to be. We can not be together. Not now, not ever.
You realize that I this is the very first time I have said this to you. I could have not. But I did not want to die not having told you how much I care for you...how you make my heart burn with my desire for you...how I long to put you in my arms and let the beating of my heart tell you how much I feel.
Tonight is like eleven years ago all over again. I do not even know for sure if what I am feeling for you is love as I have kept it all these years. As far as I am concerned, I am bothered. I do not know what to think anymore. I cannot get you out of my mind, like you were tattooed on it.
Tomorrow is officially going to be my first day of being a husband to the woman I have honestly loved and sincerely cared for...and that woman is someone else, not you. I love her. Yes I do. But...
Tell me what to do Liz.
Disconcerted,
Deacon
Rhymed by Big Bad Red @ 12:00 AM
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