Somehow
for CJ.
I don't know what I'm feeling
I don't know what this is
But somehow...I think I know.
Do I really like this "thing"?
Don't be silly, of course I don't
But somehow...I think I do.
This "thing" I think is really strange
It does give me the creeps
But somehow...I think it's wonderful.
You stir up my emotions
Yet I don't really care
But somehow...I think I do.
Sometimes I feel kind of funny
I even think it's absurd
But somehow...I really don't care.
Do I love you?
Do I? Do I?
I guess I really shouldn't.
But somehow...you know I do.
Sleep
At this very moment
I am watching you sleep.
Lovingly. Quietly.
You-
Sleeping like a child;
Your fetal curl appealing for security.
And love.
I look at you
All so calm and worry-free;
Unmindful of our chores next morning.
You dreamily, almost inaudibly
Mumbled something in your sleep.
It sounded like a name.
What was that?
Oh.
Mine.
All of a sudden your eyes start to flutter
Almost as if about to wake from a dream.
I stroke your short, almost-boyish hair;
Gently kiss you on the forehead
And you instantly get pacified.
Ah--
My beautiful little angel.
I can watch you sleep forever.
'Til Then
I may not be the one for you
You might belong to someone else;
It just doesn't seem so very right
That I am lying here beside you.
I wonder if we'll stay like this
Or perhaps you'll start to wander;
What if tonight, this lonely night
Was our last night together?
Ah--
You will get tired of me.
You will find another man;
Someone who will probably
Make you happier
Someone who will make you
More complete.
But until then--
Until you find the right man,
Just let me hold you tight.
And make believe you are mine.
The Day I Stop Loving You
I have made a vow:
I will never stop loving you
Even if heaven and earth collide
And put an end to all existence
Or the oceans and seas dry up
To shrivel the whole of creation.
I will love you
Until the day I die
Or maybe
Even beyond death itself.
For the day I stop loving you
Is the day I stop being myself
It's the day I stop remembering
That my sole reason for existence
Is you.
But I will always remember.
And I will always be myself.
One More Gift
If there's one more thing
One more gift
I will ask from Above
And nothing more
It will be you.
Just you.
I have been alone all my life
Been cold
Been afraid
Been lost.
So if I can have
Just one more gift
That I could ask from Above
Just one
And nothing more.
It will have to be you.
You and you alone.
Minstrel
A mad man I am not
But a mere troubled minstrel.
I look not at the sun
But listen to its heartbeat.
I hear.
Wails of lambs. Lamentation.
Disgruntled moans. Crying violins.
I breathe not air
But cursory images of life.
I see.
Carnage. Speeding bullets.
Mildew. Emerald men with wings.
I sing not sweet lullabies.
But choleric people's angst.
I resound.
Echoes of melancholia. Thunderous screams.
Sobs of unwanted souls. Apathy.
I am but a troubled spirit.
Lost
Where do we go from here?
What happens now?
How do we take it from here?
What blank wall is this we are facing?
Where is the laughter now?
Where is the magic we both relished?
Shall we stay or shall we go?
Where to?
Tell me.
I do not know.
Just A Memory
You are but a memory.
A fleeting reflection
A passing apparition.
You are nothing
But a ghost
From my past.
I did not love you
I did not.
I did not weep
When you broke my heart.
I never yearned for you
When you abandoned me
And left me for dead.
I ne'er craved
For your body warmth
When I felt cold
Alone in bed
These nights.
I did not love you.
I did not.
If I Weren't Here
for Cas.
If I weren't in this place, I'd be in your arms
Far from harm, far from care
I would be with you
Just you.
If I weren't so far away, I'd be sitting beside you
We'd be talking, laughing, watching the sunset
I would be beside you
Just you.
If I weren't where I was, I'd be lying next to you
Where there's warmth, tenderness and so much love
I would enthrall in the touch of you
Just you.
If I weren't here, I'd be with you
We'll spend the rest of our lives together
If I weren't here, I'd be with you
Just you.
I Will Never Go Away
Just when you thought I was gone
Here comes my promise:
I will never leave you.
Just when you thought I have deserted you
And left you all alone I emerge from oblivion
And make my presence felt.
I will stay with you.
I will never desert you.
Will never hurt you.
Will never wander from you.
Never have
Never will.
This I promise you:
I will be in the air that you'll breathe
In the brilliance of your morning sun
In the stillness of your lonely summer nights
In the serenity of the slowly falling rain
I have never left you
I promised to stay with you forever
And forever I will.
I Who Never
(an ode to the hurting)
You never told me to stay.
You never did.
But I waited.
Patiently. Silently.
For you to tire
From your conquests.
Secretly
I grieved.
Dry tears flowing
Down my bruised cheeks.
I waited.
Patiently. Silently.
I never complained.
You touched me.
Hit me.
Raped me.
Hurt me.
I prayed
That you'd stop.
For just once
Let me catch my breath.
But you never did.
I hurt.
But I never complained.
You never told me to stay.
You never did.
Why am I still here?
I Never Should Have
for M.C.
I shouldn't have kissed you
I never should have
I shouldn't have touched you
I never should have.
All those years
Of loneliness and sorrow
All this time
I thought I have
Started moving on
All
This
Time
I thought I was over you.
I have spent
All my days
And my nights
Forgetting
All my waking hours
To get you out of my mind.
Then you came back
And I knew
That I never should have kissed you.
Elevator
told to me by Joyce (and was originally called "Joyce's Doors").
I have been kissed by three men in this elevator.
One was from the past...one who never stopped loving me.
The other one was in love with another one, not just me.
And the third, the one who promised me forever.
The door opens and closes.
I wonder who will kiss me this one last time.
Don't Look Too Closely
for C.T.
Don't look too closely
For I burn with desire.
Don't.
As I may not be able
To hide my feelings
No more
Don't.
I fear your dark hazel eyes
Your piercing stare
Your almost-knowing smile
I fear...
That you already know
How much I care about you
Like you were the only person
Who could make me feel complete.
Don't lock your gaze with mine
Or at least don't hold it too long.
For the next time you do
I may have to passionately kiss you
Like I have never kissed anyone.
So don't.
Dial-up
as pondered by Karen.
I patiently wait
Busy
I wonder
Does he have mail for me?
Dialing attempt 4 of 15
I squirm in my seat
Will he still remember me?
Busy I gave him my address...
Didn' t I?
Retrying in 5 seconds
I try and remember his aroma
What was it again?
Was that an Armani?
Busy
His devilish grin
His absentminded way of massaging his neck
I remember
He flirted with me
Attempt 9 of 15
What if he doesn't like me?
Line's busy
But he touched me
Sweetly, almost lovingly
I stare blankly
Unable to connect to the Internet
I lament at my catastrophe
What was his name again?
Arcadia
for Rheese.
You have the sweetest scent
The most sensual one
That of honeysuckle
And of caffeine.
You make me want to
Lovingly
Passionately
Eagerly
Make love to you
Every hour of the day
Every passing moment
Never mind
If we both are
On borrowed time.
Come.
Now.
To paradise.
